I've recently had the occasion to experience the death of
another grandparent. This is the third grandfather to pass in my life. While I
don't remember my mom's father all that well, my (step)grandfather Jack and my
granddaddy Blakely have been an active part of my life for as long as I can
remember. Jack's passing made me reflect on how tangible items can prompt jogs
down memory lane; how having a physical "touch stone" can reconnect
us with our past.
The process of my granddaddy Blakely's passing has taught
me some very different lessons altogether. This has been a long 6 months of
tests and treatments, of medical opinions and second guesses, of decisions and
indecision, and, yes sadly, fights and frustrations. Throughout it all, though,
I'm reminded of God's grace which goes before us, walks with us, and leads us
to a deeper relationship with Him.
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| Granddaddy and Grandmother Blakely with the grandkids (and one granddaughter-in-law) |
On a recent visit to see my grandfather, my brothers and
I had the chance to take him to a radiation treatment. Make no mistake, the
mood was grim as radiation was actually the second type of treatment considered
after the first, and more aggressive option, failed. Despite the prognosis, my
grandfather's sense of humor was in full swing and we enjoyed the jokes and
jibes he proffered willingly as we travelled to the doctor's office. There is
really a great beauty in a family laughing together, even as they all face the
unknown together.
After we arrived at the radiation treatment center, I
took granddaddy back to the changing room to help him get into the paper thin
gown with which all hospitals seem to torture patients. As I helped him take
his shirt off and navigate the port doctors had installed, I was overwhelmed
with a sense of God's grace. I was struck by the thought of men and women doing
this same act for others day in and day out. There is such beauty in nurses,
health care assistants, family, and friends assisting frail, weakened children
of God as they pray that the strength of their bodies will once again match the
strength of their spirits.
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| My grandfather and Noah shortly after Noah joined our family. |
The passing of my grandfather has not been a pleasant
experience for our family. Despite this, I'm reminded of John Wesley's famous
quote, ironically stated from his death bed, "...and the best of all, God is
with us." You see, in the midst of tragedy people like to ask how God
could let something terrible occur. I'm striving to keep focused on how God is
working for good even in the midst of the despair, grief, sadness, and loss.
I had a conversation with my grandfather recently before
his health took a drastic turn for the worse. While we were talking, I felt the
need to talk religion with him. I'm very aware of the Baptist beliefs he
ascribed to later in his life and took no offense to his views on things even
as they conflicted with my own particular expression of Christianity. Despite
the fact that most would classify me as a pretty avid Christian (is that even a
thing?), granddaddy and I never really talked about these sorts of things.
Instead, he would typically opine philosophically about the state of the church
and I would nod along, politely.
This time was different. This time, I brought it up. Why?
I have no clue. Call it God prompting me or call it a hunch but I decided to go
for it. I said (not an exact quote, mind you), "you know, granddaddy, God
loves you and I know He works for good in all things." Granddaddy took a
deep breath, paused, and said, "you're right, son."
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| Four generations of Blakely men, circa August/September 2012 |
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| Four generations of Blakely men, circa September 2013 |
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In these
last 6 months, I've seen beauty all around, even in the ugliest of things like
cancer. In things like, loved ones reuniting and telling old stories you've
heard a million times; In a scribbled on coloring page from a great-grandson
hanging next to a hospital bed; and in the renewed relationships transformed by
a common concern. God truly is amazing and has worked through my grandfather's
situation despite the serious hardships we've faced.
The last line - indeed!
ReplyDeleteWe continue to keep you and your family in our thoughts!