Baby Blakely is predicted to make an entrance into this world just 3 short weeks from today! We went to the doctor yesterday and got a great check-up again. Contractions have picked up some which have apparently been effective, because I am now at 2 cm dilated. BB's head has gotten even lower which is making me even more uncomfortable. But, Dr. Lucas is happy with the progress and still expects we will be right around our due date. We received more great news that I am negative for the Strep B test, so no IV with antibiotics during labor and delivery for me!
It is absolutely crazy to think about how quickly 9 months have gone by...and at the same time, it seems like forever. Everyone keeps asking us if we are ready, and my response is always, "I am both ready and terrified!"
I am ready to no longer be pregnant.
I am ready to meet this amazing child of God that has been growing with me for 3/4 of a year.
I am ready to hold and cuddle and kiss this sweet baby who likes to kick me and gets annoyed at the sound of my hairdryer.
I am ready to be able to find a comfortable position sleeping...sitting...standing.
I am ready to see what this baby looks like and introduce him/her by name to all our family and friends!
but at the same time...
I am terrified of what labor will be like.
I am terrified that I won't be strong enough to have a natural birth.
I am terrified that something will go wrong in labor and baby and/or I will be hurt or I'll have to have a cesarean section.
I am terrified about bringing home an infant and knowing what to do!
I am terrified that we will end up just totally screwing up this kid!
But ultimately, God has been speaking to me through so many friends and family members, reassuring me that being a mother is what God has called me to do, and that I am being faithful to that calling. And in the midst of my fear, I am able to find peace in knowing that God will be with me throughout and will ensure that the right people are present to support me through the difficulties of labor and parenting.
And so, I covet each of your prayers in these last few weeks as I wait in excitement and anxiety for what is to come. And I pray that this baby won't hate me too much when I decide to blow dry my hair. :)
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